America: Wake up. You are currently a pit of despair for anyone with an IQ over 100. If the 'special guest performer' on America's Got Talent last week is any indication of what passes for talent in this country, we're fresh out.The group was called 'LMFAO' - a popular net-speak term meaning Laughing My Fucking Ass Off. Indeed, I was laughing my ass off.

I wasn't laughing at their hideous trying-too-hard faux-nerd outfits complete with huge fake glasses. I was laughing at the fact that a multi-million viewer national TV program actually booked them. Their monotone and extremely offensive 'Rap' was a complete waste of whatever they paid these clowns. I fully expected three 'buzz-outs' by the judges because 99% of the talent in the show was much better than these idiots. I can come up with a better act in 10 minutes, and I probably should if these fools have "The top summer party song". Also, their DJ is fucking fake as hell. He's running Serato Scratch LIVE™ which is commendable, but he's just playing their backing music. He might as well be using iTunes or an iPod. He clearly also has no talent.

On a related note, who the fuck lets David Hasselhoff judge talent? Sure, he's 'The Hoff' but he's a moron. His drunken late-night cheesburger munchdown - filmed by his daughter, whom should not be subjected to such things - or his thinly-veiled suicide attempt - a chandelier fell in a hotel bathroom and slit your wrist? Bullshit. - should disqualify him from judging the best interstate hamburger, let alone serious singing or dancing talent.

I swear it's like having Robert Downey Jr. as the judge on "Who Wants to Go to Rehab?".